We’ve done it.
Are you sure?
I think so.
Can you tell for certain?
Well, I just sent instructions to specimen B-286 to perform an aerial maneuver, and it has been performing it for over 15 minutes now.
Can you tell it to stop?
It has stopped now.
What’s it doing?
Just sitting there.
Tell it to rub its eyes with its little arms.
What does this mean?
I’m not sure. Nothing like this has ever been done before. The communicative possibilities are limitless.
We should probably begin with the prime directive.
We’re just going to inform them all, one at a time?
Well, what other option do we have?
I suppose we could try and fit the machine with some form of signal amplifier. That should allow us to target millions of individuals at the same time.
That’s a good idea. It would cost money though.
Do you really think money will be an issue after we release our official statement?
Well, do you want to do it?
Hello, housefly. I am a human. As you may have guessed, us humans have just created a machine that allows us to communicate intelligently with you. We cannot understand you, but we are confident that you can understand us. Fly in a figure eight three times if you can understand this message.
Perfect. Now that we have established this interaction, we will inform you of another invention we have created. It is called windows. It is made up of a substance called glass, which we invented a long time ago. These windows are nearly invisible to us, and we imagine, based on your behaviour, they are entirely invisible to you. To you, it probably appears like a surface without detail. You may feel as if you are walking on the air. This is an illusion. We have seen countless of your kind die at these windows. Your attempts to fly through them are all in vain. The only way to defeat the window is to go around, or to find a different route to your destination. Do not repeatedly try to fly through the window. You will never beat the window. Beginning now, if you would like us to let you through this window, stand very still, and oscillate your wings. We will notice these oscillations, then pick you up with our fingers and release you to the other side of the window. Please spread the message to your fellow flies and any other creature that may benefit from this knowledge. Do four barrel rolls if you understand.